{"id":4723,"date":"2019-04-30T10:38:51","date_gmt":"2019-04-30T09:38:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.florisbooks.co.uk\/blog\/?p=4723"},"modified":"2019-04-30T10:38:51","modified_gmt":"2019-04-30T09:38:51","slug":"growing-children-thriving-children-raising-7-to-12-year-olds-with-confidence-and-awareness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.florisbooks.co.uk\/blog\/2019\/04\/30\/growing-children-thriving-children-raising-7-to-12-year-olds-with-confidence-and-awareness\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing Children, Thriving Children: Raising 7 to 12 Year Olds With Confidence and Awareness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Children face big changes between the ages of seven and twelve. We spoke to experienced teacher and parenting coach Lou Harvey-Zahra, whose new book Growing Children, Thriving Children<\/a> addresses the challenges of supporting children through their middle years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What are the key\nchanges facing children during their lower school years? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are key physical, emotional, social and intellectual\nchanges during the lower school years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physically<\/strong>, the most pronounced changes are the elongation of children\u2019s limbs and fingers. With the change of teeth at around seven years, children lose their early childhood rounded tummies. It takes practice to ground this new body: gross motor movement games such as hopscotch and skipping are ideal, as are fine motor crafts such as knitting. When children\u2019s play involves handstands, cartwheels and ball skills, their general coordination abilities increase. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotionally<\/strong>, there is a change in children\u2019s perception of themselves and the wider world during middle childhood. These transitions can lead to outbursts of anger or patches of anxiety. The neo-cortex, which processes emotion, develops significantly during these years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Socially<\/strong>, there is a subtle move away from parents during children\u2019s middle years and more solid friendships are formed. As children become more confident outside their family circle, social changes occur. Middle-years children develop more capacity for empathy with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Intellectually<\/strong>, children learn the foundational skills of reading, writing and arithmetic during primary school. If these new skills are taught using methods that respect children\u2019s feelings and capacities for imagination, the concepts are easier to grasp. For example, middle-years children respond well to learning through story. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can parents best\nsupport their children while embracing their growing independence?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Awareness is key: we need to recognise and embrace the\nnatural changes during middle childhood. Understanding the major thresholds of\nchange, or Rubicons, at around seven, nine and twelve years of age assists with\nsmoother transitions for both parent and child. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Connection is so important for children in their middle\nyears. They may stop holding hands, but every child still wishes to belong and\nto feel accepted and loved. Family rhythms including morning greetings,\nmealtimes and bedtime rituals give real security, as do weekly and yearly\nfamily traditions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need to understand that new challenging behaviours may arise during middle childhood and our creative discipline strategies change. This includes taking time to explain why a behaviour is not compatible with family values. Think of discipline as clear communication. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What is the most\ndifficult childhood question you\u2019ve encountered, and how did you deal with it? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I can turn this question around, I find that the\ntrickiest topic for parents to talk about is puberty: when and how to approach\nthe subject of sex education. Often parents are lost for words and are grateful\nfor a framework of ideas to assist. The topic of puberty and sex education\nrequires parents to speak up in a loving way. If we don\u2019t, children will rely\non their peers or the internet, often with dire results.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What have you found\nto be the most effective solutions for helping children deal with anger and\nanxiety?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked many older children and teenagers for personal,\nsuccessful strategies. These involve all sorts of elements including breathing,\nmovement and music, warmth, creative tasks, gratitude, sensory experiences and\npositive thinking. These real-life stories share ideas that others can try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Why is establishing\nroutine so important for strengthening family bonds?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Middle childhood may be a very hurried time: parents may\nwork, children are at school, there is a general busyness to everyday life.\nConnection time and family bonding can be lost to hurry and the distraction of\nscreens. Every human wakes up, eats and goes to bed, and each of these times\ncan be transformed into points of family connection. Loving routines build\ntrust, connection, fun, joy, and strong bonds for the future. While routines\nare important, we also need to allow space for change and experimentation to\nfind what works for each family unit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What inspired you to\nwrite this book?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parents have been asking for this book for a few years since\nthe publication of Happy Child, Happy Home, so children and parents inspired me\nto write it. My own children are now nineteen and seventeen and as a primary\nand Waldorf teacher, I have fully experienced the middle childhood stage both\npersonally and professionally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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There are very few books focusing on parenting seven-to-twelve-year-olds: most are aimed at parenting toddlers and teens. There is a gap of knowledge. Conscious parenting during the middle years provides a bridge after the early years and a platform for the teenage years and later life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more from Lou Harvey-Zahra <\/strong>
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